Today, I celebrate five years of marriage with my husband. While the time has flown by so fast, there were times I thought we wouldn’t make it here. We have been through a lot over the years, but with the five secrets I’m about to share, we have remained the happy strong couple we are today.
To backtrack a little bit, this is my second marriage. My first one lasted 11 months. Yes, I didn’t celebrate my first anniversary. Marriage was not the right choice for only knowing someone for six months. It seemed right, at the time, when we had a kid on the way. I don’t regret it, at all. It’s a life lesson I needed which made my marriage stronger this time around.
I met my husband in college, seven years ago. I wasn’t looking for any type of relationship. We remained friends, and the friendship grew to something more, over time. After two years of dating, we decided to take it to the next level. He proposed on February 29, 2012.
During our wedding date selection night, we wanted a fun date to remember. Not the overrated consecutive numbers or repetitive numbers, like some couples do. My husband loves math, and I joked about the date 6-6-12 (since 6 plus 6 equals twelve). He LOVED it and would never forget that date. So, June 6, 2012, was our special day. We did a courthouse wedding. A hot, humid, sunny day that we will never forget.
Our marriage has been full of ups and downs. We’ve dealt with family deaths, job changes, adding to the family, and several moves. There have been laughs, meltdowns, fights, and everything in between. I’ve learned that no matter how the day ends, he is there beside me by the end of it. Like a husband and best friend should be.
Now back to my five secrets:
I’m sure this is a no-brainer, but communication is key to a strong marriage. My husband works out of the home and we send texts throughout the day. Some are reminders for activities in the evening, or just as simple as saying, “I love you,” just to make sure each other is still alive. Lack of communication brings arguments and wasted time. We both had flawed from time to time to communicate, but we do well in this category.
*Help One Another
As a girl who loves to be independent, this is a hard task for me. I love doing things on my own and hate asking for help. It’s a learned behavior from my single mom days, unfortunately. I have come to my own senses that I can’t do it all, so I have improved. He asks for help all the time, even when it comes to housework. Helping each other also shows the kids that working together as a team is a life-long skill requirement.
*Date Your Spouse
Dating doesn’t stop on the day you say, “I do.” We must take time to work on our marriage. Whether you have kids or not, spending time just as a couple is still important. We don’t go out on dates as much as we like (sitters aren’t cheap), but we do date nights-in as often as we can. A happy marriage, a happy family is my motto in this house.
If you are looking for date night-in ideas, check them out here. Tried and true by my husband, and we do them often!
We may not have to agree on everything with our spouse, but we must compromise or be even. For example, I hate mowing the yard. I do it because my husband works two jobs to make ends meet. Hopefully, his double duty in the corporate world is temporary, but until then, I make his to-do list easier to manage when he is home. Arguments happen from time to time, but meeting in the middle is helpful for a marriage to work.
*Go to Bed Together Every Night
This has been a must for us. Even when we had newborns in the house, we still went to bed together every night. This gave us time to talk for a bit about the day, watch a show, and just spend time together before we fell asleep. This also helps us to not go to bed angry. Those few times we had deep arguments, we still managed to work them out before falling asleep.
This list sounds easy, but it takes a lot of work. I wouldn’t trade our marriage for the world, though. I look forward to many more years with my husband, through thick and thin!
How long have you been married to your spouse? What are your secrets? Share with me below!